I know that feeling. Looking in the mirror and feeling repulsed by your own reflection. Unsatisfied and hopeless. Hating yourself.
In my young years I experienced it a lot. The initial
phase of change is always the hardest. It's like jumping in the void without
knowing if you're going to land safely.
But hope, consistently and perseverance are qualities that I
had to build up. I have transformed that hopelessness feeling first into
challenge then into passion…and slowly I changed the image in the mirror that I
mostly hated into something I felt I could be proud of.
Like me, many people didn't give up on their physical
transformation and therefore conquering the struggles of a most needed mental
transformation.
You can do it to. You just need to work on your SELF IMAGE,
together with your body.
Maxwell Maltz
Maxwell was a plastic surgeon and more than 50 years ago
wrote a book called “psycho cybernetics”. He saw that more often than not, his
patients didn't get any improvement on their level of happiness from the
plastic surgery. They couldn't find satisfaction in the new look and found
rapidly some other “imperfections” that had to be fixed. Making modelling their
faces and bodies a real obsession.
Maxwell wasn't satisfied and started studying his patients
closely. He found out that no matter how perfect his surgery was most patients
couldn't see in the mirror what they were looking for. They changed their
features but they didn't change the MENTAL IMAGE they had of themselves.
That's why he started doing preliminary psychiatrist
sessions with his patients. He asked to do a 30 minutes visualization exercise
for 21 days before they could undertake surgery. If at the end of the 21 days
they still wanted to do the surgery then he would perform it.
What he found is that most people could actually get rid of
their obsessions simply by doing that simple exercise. Over the course of 21
days they trained the brain to see different things in the mirror. The illusion
of being imperfect faded and they started to like themselves more and more.
Obese people started losing weight simply because they
started to believe, and therefore behave, as if they were slimmer already.
I know this can sound odd but I have recently had a chat
with my friend Greg. He's a successful entrepreneur with a lovely family. He
has a trainer and a nutritionist but he told me he just couldn't get rid of his
belly. “I have always been fat and I'll always will be” he said. That's when
the story of Maxwell Maltz came back to my mind. Greg had a fat self-image and
therefore he was subconsciously sabotaging himself.
Do not sabotage
yourself
This may sound weird but most people think themselves as
fat. As long as you have a clear image of you being fat and keep telling
yourself you will always stay fat, the chances of changing are very little.
The mind is a powerful tool. No matter how ambitious your
fitness goals are or high your motivation may be, if you think yourself as fat
sooner than later you will act accordingly.
I have made the mistake of giving strict diets to overweight
clients and they always had a backlash. After two or three days of compliance
they ended up binging like never before, lying to me about it and creating
excuses such as their metabolism being the problem.
Only after I've learned to set mini goals and advised them
to eat only foods they enjoy I was able to deliver great results. Starting from
a purely mental approach I slowly introduced little dietary restrictions. Week
after week I could replace a little treat with a healthy alternative. The more
they could see the scale dropping and their pants getting loser the more they
believed they could be slim sooner than later their self-image switched from
“I'm a fat bastard” to “I'm transforming”
Tips
1)
Be easy on yourself. Acknowledge that it will take time
to change and, if you do it gradually even this journey can be enjoyable.
2)
Forgive yourself if you eat a bit too much. Be ok with
it. Don't say to yourself “this is me I always screw up everything”. It was
just a treat, now you can go back on track and it won't affect you too much. Is
ok to be human at times.
3)
Close your eyes and visualise yourself wearing tight
clothing and looking great. Imagine colours, shapes, sounds. The more vivid the
visualization the better are the chances you will work harder to achieve it
4)
Dream big but plan small. If you want to become a
fitness model there's nothing wrong about it but remember to plan mini steps so
easy to accomplish that may even feel stupid. You can start with going to the
gym once this week. That's little and easy right. Then next week you can commit
to not having sweets on Monday. The week after you will go two times to the gym
and avoid sweets for three days. And so on.
5)
Learn patience. Lao Tzu in the book of the Dao said “a
journey of a 1000s miles begins with one single step”. Little things are what really
make a difference in the long run. Make sure you get that right and try to
enjoy the rest. Who knows maybe you will become the next number one fitness
model.
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