I make a solid promise
that for the second part of 2017 - I
WILL get better at blogging. Whilst it’s no excuse, the first part of this year
was very difficult for me. I found a lump in my breast and had to go under a
series of examinations before it was determined to be benign shortly followed
by a relationship break down, a house move and trying to complete my personal
training qualification. Holding my head above water was a challenge 90% of the
time and putting my vulnerabilities out to the public is never been something I
have been particularly good at.
Whilst I’m still adapting
to life as it stands, I am glad to be doing it with a little more ease day by
day.
Here are a few things I
did – to help build my self-confidence, and faith in the world back up:
1) Acceptance
– I’ll start with the hardest bit first – accepting that my entire world was
crumbling down around me – and try as I might - there was nothing I could do to
control the situation. I had to accept it for what it was.
2) Feeling
it – before I could move on, I had to stop fighting my emotions and really allow
myself to feel them. Yes this meant some mornings I would wake up with bags the
size of mars under my eyes… and sometimes I would have to go out in public
looking like I had been smacked in the face with a fish – but it was a damn lot
easier than trying to pretend that I wasn’t in pain.
3) Taking
responsibility – There are some situations – illness for example that just come
out of the blue and can’t be helped. There are others, like relationship break
downs where as perfect as you may think you are – you will have had a part to
play. This could be letting a situation go on too long, neglecting the other
party, not communicating properly - whatever it was, I had to take
responsibility for my part. Learn your lesson, forgive myself and use it to
make me wiser in the future.
4) Wave
The White Flag – 1 month from now the way I feel will be completely different,
12 months from now it will be a distant memory – I had to remind myself of this
every day – several hundred times a day and make peace the way things as they
stood in the knowledge that my situation then – wasn’t going to be my situation
forever.
5) Facing
the world – Once the above stages were in full swing, I got tired of feeling
miserable and locked up in my own emotions. It was at this stage I knew I was ready
to go out there and face the world again. I started with small outings to see
family or friends, then re-entered the gym I had famously broken down in a
month earlier. Faced colleagues after having to take a leave of absence to
handle my personal business. I won’t lie, this stage is scary – but completely
essential to moving on. To move past a situation you have to remember the
person you were before the situation occurred, and replicate it.
6) New
Routines – half of the emotions I faced whilst doing stage 5 was trying to go
about my daily tasks in the same routine fashion I had done before the
heartbreak – I’d strongly advise designing a new routine as much as possible
with new surroundings where possible. Do your weekly food shop somewhere new,
redesign all your workouts to include moves you have never tried before and so
on…
7) Fall
in love again – but this time with you. (more to come on this bit in a later
post…..)
If it is a breakup you’re going through – you may be
holding back on the recovery thinking that there is a possibility the
relationship could reconcile – DON’T DO THAT – its 100% possible you and he/she
may reconcile and build a stronger more loving relationship – but first, you
have to fix you. To really give 100% - you have to be 100%.
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